A Perspective Shift

  This past year has been a year of abundance. However, it has also been one of the hardest years of my life. SO much has changed for me, all in a short period of time. (I got married. I moved cities, away from family. I switched jobs. I started an internship. I had to make new friends. I transitioned from a house to an apartment. I switched churches) I am one who takes time to adjust to change. I welcome it, yet I fight it. This time I fought hard, although at the time I did not realize how hard I fought it. I could not find the sense of peace or gratitude that I knew I should have had. I was too busy focusing on my lack thereof and my longings for the old, rather than embracing the new.

  My dear husband had the patience to stand with me through it all and offer me the best support he could. However, he was not the key to my change. What I needed most was to change my thoughts. To continually hand them over to God and take in His truth for my life. I needed to trust in my heavenly Father, knowing that He has NEVER failed me before, so why should He suddenly do so now? He did not and He would not have. It's just not in His nature. Yet I forgot because I was focused on the difficult time I was in, rather than embracing the change for what it was and what God had in store for me.

  A month ago I realized that my perspective had finally shifted. Gradually, little by little, I was able to turn to God. I was able to fight against the lies of the enemy that told me I did not belong where I was. The lies that told me to go "home". Go back to where I came. Give up. Let go. Stop trying to fit in where you do not belong. No one wants to be your friend. Do not embrace the change; it will only hurt you. Such ugly lies, yet I felt trapped in them.

 I am a new person now. Nothing much has changed, yet everything has. Here is a sample into a recent journal entry I wrote to God about the change.

(Don't mind the extra stuff in the photo)

 Hi there God! It's a little after 5am. I've been up since 4:30am and I can't sleep. This Wednesday is the Living Hope Membership class, take 2 for me. Thus my mind and thoughts have been centered on this past year. God, you have taken me so far in this past year. So far. I LOVE where I am! I love my husband. I love this city (I seriously want an Olathe proud t-shirt). I love my church. I love my pastor. I love this baby growing inside of me. I even love my job! I love the friends I am building here. I love that I can stretch myself again as I used to be able to. I can find people at church that I don't know and introduce myself. I can build relationships. I can create belonging. I can walk peacefully and confidently in what you have for me. I can connect with neighbors. I can invite/encourage other women to attend the retreat. I can host a small group gathering at my house. I can create belonging wherever I go. I can connect with strangers at the store. I can thrive where I am. I can love the place you have called me to! I am abundantly blessed. And the funny thing is, I have no idea when all of this changed inside of me. I just know that it has. Thank you Lord. From the deepest places of my heart, thank you!
 
  My pastor is doing a sermon series called "Metamorphosis" right now about breaking out of the cocoons we have gotten stuck in, be they emotionally, spiritually, relationally, etc. Something he has said a couple of times has truly resonated with me after this past year I have had. "The way I think determines how I feel. How I feel determines how I act."

  So much truth packed into those two sentences. We hold ourselves prisoners to our circumstances so often, when we do NOT need to. What are you holding on to right now that is unnecessary? That is holding you back? Is it a lie? Is it a past experience? Is it a lack of something? Is it a fear? A failure? Doubts? Ask God to open your eyes to what it is. He will not fail you. He will walk you through and help you to overcome. He wants you to live, to Really live and thrive, rather than remain trapped inside of your cocoons. Let us be butterflies rather than caterpillars.