Thursday, October 3, 2013

Fighting Against Success

   I turned 23. Two weeks ago now. Ooooh goodness does time fly! I can't believe I have been here on earth this many years so far. ;) I've been thinking a lot. Partly because I'm a little older today than I was yesterday and partly because I have been discussing this in my English class. What is success? describes success as the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals; the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like. 
   It seems to be that the "American Dream" tells us to root for money, fame, and love. the perfect career. a college degree. the 'picture perfect' mom, dad, and two kids. a car you can't afford. your dream house. What happens if you have none of these? What if you are in still in college after 5 years of high school and seemingly nowhere near finishing? What if you don't really know what you want to spend the rest of your life doing? What if your relationship status is currently single? What if you've had the same falling a part, un-airconditioned car for six years? What if life isn't going the way you 'planned' it? Does this mean that you failed?
  I've been wrestling with these thoughts lately. I know a piece of this struggle comes from the enemy trying to fill me with his lies that I am wasting away my life. trying to discourage me from my true. purpose. Another piece of this struggle is just me coming to terms with what really is my purpose. Why am I here? There comes a point when we have to sit down with God and have a heart-to-heart. Trust requires walking into the unknown. It requires faith. But this doesn't mean that it all comes easily. This trust thing is super difficult. 
World Prayer Center in Colorado Springs
  I heard a line in a song the other day that simply says "I want to waste my life to search you out, to search you out." Like Mary of Bethany. I long to pour my life out on the one I love. When everyone else says it is a waste. My life's work and money. Just pour it out before Him. Because He is worth it. Everyone else may say I am crazy. That matters not. What matters is what my beloved says to me. That He sees the value in what I do. That I learn to know His heart and follow after that. This is what matters. This is true success. That I waste my life in pursuit of Him and the things He has called me to. Regardless of the cost. Regardless of the time it takes.
"Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams."
1 Samuel 15:22-23