Here are some thoughts from my journal that I wanted to share with you.
Abraham's life is full of faith, yet it is also full of fear.
He trusted the Lord enough to leave his family and head to a foreign land. He traveled over 1000 miles, never to return. Family visits were not an option for him. He left with the confidence that he would never see his relatives, including his own parents, again. He trusted the Lord enough to offer up his promised son, Isaac. This son was supposed to be the key to Abraham's numerous descendants. This was the son that had caused Abraham and Sarah to wait over twenty-five years from the time of the Lord's promise to the time of Isaac's birth. Abraham trusted God. Abraham had faith enough to be willing to offer his son to the Lord (the Lord spared Isaac's life in a wonderful turn of events).
....he (Abraham) was fearful and failed to trust the Lord to protect him and his wife as they entered new lands, so he lied and said that Sarah was only his sister. Multiple times. Abraham was afraid. He failed to trust in the Lord. Abraham also doubted the Lord's promise of numerous descendants and slept with his wife's maidservant when Sarah suggested that was the key to the fulfillment of the Lord's promise, rather than actually waiting on the Lord. He was afraid that the Lord would not fulfill His promise.
Through all of the doubts, Abraham is known as a man of faith. He even makes it into Hebrews 11, the "faith chapter." However, he did not make it in because he was perfect or because he was never afraid.
This is such a reminder that God does not only look at our faults and our failures. He sees our heart. What is the yearning of our heart? Is it to live life as we see fit or is it to strive for obedience to the Lord, amidst our doubts, insecurities, and imperfections?
I, for one, am so thankful that God sees not only my actions, but also my heart. He does not focus on the fact that I may have failed Him one thousand times before. He sees that I desire Him. He sees that I desire to honor Him, to seek Him, and to obey Him. That is what matters to the Lord. The fear factor is not the end all, be all. God sees my heart.
He sees yours as well. Do you feel like you have failed too many times? Take heart. Even the most well known biblical characters are full of regrets, fears, and failures. Yet God used them! :)
He'll use you and me as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!